Components of an Alison (n. el/iiss/un: from the Greek word àilsun meaning to be in a state of constant cultural anarchy)by Catherine Rogerson phd,incc:PHTh d

Unique ability to conceal herself in random spaces eg. in the pantry (next to the cumin), against a wall (disguised as a Emperor gum moth larvae), underneath the bed (clichéd, but she tends to add an extra element of surprise by getting stuck until some hapless relation rescues her from the fluff bunnies and multiple Mint Pattie® wrappers)

A certain tendency to enjoy music that was created to be played at 10,000 decibels to be appreciated fully.

Ownership of 1 x pair of bed socks (sheep-covered, suspiciously clean smelling), 1 x enamel frog shaped mula box, 3.5756 x Alternative Press Magazines and several boxes full of trippy poetry and questionable shades of eye shadow.

Appreciation of fine art. Excessive feelings of happiness when exposed to Gustav Klimt. Excessive feelings of unquenchable rage when expose to George Gittoes. Neutral feelings when exposed to a frog (possible squishiness)

Possession of a sound mind, although it does like to go on shotgun, sugar-fuelled road trips to Aberdeen and involve itself in cow baiting. When in Rome…

Yeah, that saying doesn’t really apply in this situation.

Founder and proprietor of Hermits Anonymous. Number of official meetings attended: 0. Number of times I have pondered the irony of creating an association for hermits, when it is clear they do not fraternise, hence the term ‘hermit’: 6 billion. Number of times Ali has laughed manically at the thought of my poor brain trying to figure it all out: Impossible to compute.

A liking for whacked out movies and books. The more inter-generational sex, time-travelling warpedness, drug-induced dinosaur psychodrama, random artistic suicidal tendencies, men dressed like bunnies named Frank, wallpaper imitating shirts, uplifting quarter life crises whilst burying hamsters, indiscernible French fringes, weird dancing plastic bags and David Bowie with a codpiece, the better. (For an extra bonus point, see if you can guess all the movies referred to in the above paragraph.)

Secretly wishes to meet Perez. And attack him. With love. He makes the tummy giggle.

Limited in her ability to keep things tidy. Possesses a textbook knowledge of the French Revolution but cannot find her tax file number. Protests that if the almightily Jeebus had meant us to find tax file number forms, he wouldn’t have made them the same colour as the carpet. Room still resembled a nightclub inhabited by beret wearing, chain smoking rabbits

reading, painting, music...dah, great movies, good friends, night time adventures, days when you cant remember anything, toasted cheese sandwiches at 3am, heat waves breaking with rain, bitter cold mornings, walks in the dark, jumping around in my underwear while listening to FOB, TMNt, hello kitty, internet lurking, gloomy bear, tokidoki bags, asian fruit fashion, crazy people

(+44), AC/DC, The Academy Is..., Alkaline Trio, Amberlin, Arcade Fire, Arctic Monkeys, bayside, The Basics, Ben Folds, Ben Folds Five, Ben Lee, The Bleached Whales, blink-182, Bloc Party, The Boy Least Likely To, Boys Like Girls, Bright Eyes, Cold War Kids, Cobra Starship, cute is what we aim for, Coldplay, Damien Rice, The Dandy Warhols, dan le sac VS scroobius pip, Death Cab For Cutie, Eskimo Joe, Evermore, Fall Out Boy, The Flaming Lips, Flight Of The Conchords, Flynt, The Format, Frou Frou, Gotye, Hellogoodbye, hawthorn heights, The Hold Steady, Hot Chip, The Hush Sound, I'm From Barcelona, I Love You, Imogen Heap, Iron & Wine, Jimmy Eat World, Kaiser Chiefs, Kanye West, Keane, Kisschasy, the who, The Killers, Klaxons, The Libertines, lifetime, Massive Attack, Muse, Michael Paynter, Mika, the matches, Modest Mouse, Motion City Soundtrack, October Fall, OK Go, Operator Please, Panic! At The Disco, Pixies, Placebo, The Police, Powerspace, Queen, red ink, Radiohead, Rogue Wave, The Rolling Stones, The Shins, Sherwood, Silverchair, Spoon, Silversun Pickups, scissor sisters, Simon & Garfunkel, The Smashing Pumpkins, Snow Patrol, The Strokes, Tears for Fears, Thirsty MercThe Verve, The White Stripes, Wolfmother, Zolof the Rock & Roll Destroyer <

Anchorman, anything with Jake Gillynhall, montey python, Garden State, The Virgin Suicides, Life is Beautiful, Mean Girls, American Beauty, Donnie Darko, The Long Kiss Goodnight, The Alien movies, Amile, Napolean Dynamite, Serenity, Interviw with a vampire, starwars!Brick, white olliander, little miss sunshine INDIE

anything from hemmingway or Wilde, Chuck Palahniuk, mostly fantasy stuff